Walkin outta darkness

My story

Why I chose this walk 

Mental health issues have been one of very few constants in my life. Every time things went to shit, I knew the demons in my head would still be there. They always were, good days & bad. Always doing their best to make good days bad & bad days worse.

If I had to describe my life to this point in one word I’d go with “eventful”, most people would call depressing. For a long time even I called myself a lost cause & it wasn’t inaccurate.

From before even turning 13 my struggle with homelessness started, leading me head first into drink, drugs, crime & jail. I’ve lost friends to overdose & suicide. I’ve been trapped in situations no person  should ever have to endure. The demons in my head became louder & their words made more & more sense. I believed them when they told me I was nothing but an oxygen thief & so I attempted suicide…more than 3 times. 

I’m 37 now & had a massive drug addiction for 26 years. That’s over half my life.

I’ll share with you something positive. I’m now 5months   clean on my own terms. I made a decision & sweated it out at home…for over 2 weeks…& f!!k it hurt! 100% worth it, my mental health, in my opinion, is the best it’s ever been. I have a whole different look on life now. I go to the gym 6 days a week, it’s my new high. I’m enrolled in a dual cert IIII in alcohol and other drugs & cert IIII in mental health starting in the new year. I have an amazing partner, beautiful kids & close circle of friends who have stood by me & are adopted family (one of whom has helped me write this, she has that loves to write sickness 🤣). For the first time ever I feel like someone not only my kids can be proud of, but someone I can be proud of & even love.

The biggest reason for my walk is this: no one deserves to live my life. No one. If I can use my experiences to better someone else’s life, I will. So here I go, walkin’ outta the darkness.