Jason Osment

The Reason- by Jason Osment

Sunday 22nd Feb

There’s a certain expectation that comes with being a Defence member You’re trained to be resilient, dependable, and strong under pressure. You learn to push through anything , to carry on no matter what. But what doesn’t get talked about enough is what happens when the uniform comes off — when the structure fades, the noise quiets, and you’re left alone with your thoughts.

For me, that silence became heavy. My mates around me started noticing the changes before I did.

Both in my time in the Navy and my after I started noticing changes. Not all at once — it can creep in slowly or it can come in like a wrecking ball. Sleepless nights. Short tempers. Feeling disconnected from people around me. Watching mates go through the same thing, some worse than others, really hit hard. Blokes who were once solid as a rock now struggling just to get through the day. And yet, no one wanted to talk about it, but with professional help and help of my support system things do get better day by day. 

Because that’s what we’re taught, right? Harden up. Get on with it. Don’t make a fuss.

But here’s the truth — that mindset is costing lives.

That’s why I decided to take on the Spoke to a Bloke challenge.

It’s simple on the surface: check in, start conversations, make space for honesty. But in reality, it’s one of the hardest things many of us will ever do. Because it means being vulnerable. It means admitting that things aren’t always okay.

And I’ll be honest — I’ve struggled with that.

There’s something deeply ingrained in us, especially in military culture, that says asking for help is weakness. But I’ve come to realise it’s the opposite. It takes far more strength to speak up than to stay silent.

This challenge isn’t just about me. It’s about the mates I’ve served with. The ones who are still here, and the ones we’ve lost. It’s about making sure no one feels like they have to carry everything on their own.

Even a simple “How are you going, mate?” can make a difference.

Since starting this journey, I’ve had conversations I never thought I’d have. Honest ones. Raw ones. Some uncomfortable, but all important. And what I’ve learned is this — most people are just waiting for someone to ask. To genuinely ask.

We don’t need to have all the answers. We just need to be there and listen to them.

If you’re reading this and you’re struggling, know this: you’re not alone. Not even close. There are people who understand, people who care, and people who want to listen — even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

And if you’re doing okay, check in on your mates anyway. Because sometimes the ones who seem the strongest are fighting the hardest battles.

This challenge has reminded me of something I learned a long time ago — we’re stronger together.

So speak to a bloke. Start the conversation. It might just save a life!

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